When I was really young,
in the days before
my parents gave in
to disappointment,
my mom used to sing me to sleep. 
It was a hymn called "Oh, Gentle Presence".

Today, the memory of it flits in and out..
just a bar or two
Of my eternalness...
of the universe
as a friendly and laughable place.

At my highschool graduation
I did a little speech.
On the podium
trying to sit still
with adults for whom i had lost respect.
A couple years before,
they took my backpack
..threatened to keep it until
I ratted out my best friend. 

Graduation.
All the graduates walked past my chair
on the way
to the mumbling charlie brown adult
handing out the scrolls.
I whispered the address of my house
to everyone I knew,
furthering my spontaneous desire
for it not to end
without including my version
of an
END.

We really had more in common
than we realized

in our parent's homes
in a safe town
by the beach.

So much fucking hope.
Our shame only skin deep.